the bud gives way to the flower
on answering the call
I’m continuing to tinker with the format of this newsletter, as I search for a structure that feels both energizing for me and valuable to you. Of course, part of me rejects that whole process, and thinks I should have magically figured it out by now, or just commit to what was working, or stop posting until I have something perfect…
We can recognize this as the Inner Critic part, who would prefer that I never do anything to risk criticism, ever, for the rest of my life. As I’ve spoken about before, my task is to welcome that Inner Critic into the process. My task is to let him know that I hear him, that he’s welcome here, but also we’re going to keep taking this iterative approach, thank you very much.
I like to think of the Inner Critic as a little kid version of me, who’s sitting beside me, watching me work. “Don’t do that!” he yells. I tell him I hear him, I’ve got it, he can trust me. And then he gets to watch as I continue to risk & receive criticism and judgement… and everything is fine. The world keeps turning; my heart keeps beating. Through direct experience, he learns that fumbling around in public is safe. That’s the important thing, even more so than writing a good newsletter.
But also, here’s the newsletter: a collection of words that resonated with me this week, and a few thoughts to go along with them.
the repudiation of the bud
In your subconscious mind, you have a certain identify, the concept of Who You Are. Inevitably, there’s some attachment to that identity, because it’s been trying to keep you safe… and it’s been successful, based on the fact that you’re still alive. So your subconscious is going to be unwilling to let that identity go. There’s going to be some clinging, some resistance to change.
Your next identity is the fulfillment of your current identity, but also its repudiation. The best way to accelerate that transition is through appreciation (the good old currency of the universe). The more you celebrate both your current identity and what’s emerging within you, the safer your body will feel. The more joy you cultivate around your shape-shifting, the more relaxation you’ll bring into your subconscious.
When we celebrate change, we amplify it. When we try to force change to happen, we stultify it. Celebrate both who you are and who you’re becoming.
the liberation of limitations
I love this framing of commitment. It’s easy to get scared of commitment because what if we choose the wrong option? What if we commit to the wrong thing? What if there’s something better?
But the opportunity here is to realize that commitment allows us to release that wondering. When we commit, we set the intention to release that questioning. That’s not aways an overnight process, but it’s a beautiful intention, because it frees up our energy for other pursuits.
My X account only started gaining traction in the beginning of last year, and since then, I’ve noticed something interesting. The most intense hate that I’ve received has come from small accounts, usually under 100 followers. Bigger accounts will disagree with me sometimes, but almost always in a respectful way. (And actually, the exceptions to that “almost always respectful” came from big anonymous accounts, where there wasn’t a real name/photo attached.)
Writing a few tweets isn’t too remarkable, in of itself, but you see a similar pattern in other fields. Wannabe writers will post brutal reviews of popular fiction… but published authors tend to praise each other’s work. Why? They know how hard it is to make something, anything. Just to complete a novel is an enormous feat.
Until we say yes to our life’s adventure, we won’t fully understand the difficulty and joy of the journey. Our ego will want to quell our internal sense of FOMO, and as a result we’ll want to keep others “in their place.” Our once-ferocious creative energy will be channeled towards festering resentment.
So to become the most vibrant & creative version of ourselves, we need to ask this question, over and over: where am I refusing the call?
With love & appreciation,
Scott
P.S. if you’d like support in accepting the call of your life’s adventure, DM me on Twitter or Instagram, or click here. 🏹